Well, things are a bit grim on the cinematic front right now, aren’t they? Movies are being pulled from the release schedule at an alarming clip, Universal has announced they’re ignoring the long-standing and supposedly sacred theatrical window to chuck The Invisible Man, The Hunt, Emma, and Trolls World Tour on streaming by the end of the week, cinemas are closing their doors – and some of those will be permanent, mark my words – and besides, we’re all supposed to stay at home as much as possible, anyway.

Bummer City.

But let’s not dwell on that. Let’s try something different. You name an upcoming flick that you’re not gonna be able to see whether due to delayed release or self-quarantine, and I’ll fling you the title of an older film that oughtta scratch that itch – and if I can find a streaming option for you, I’ll link it. 

For starters, if you were jonesing for Fast and Furious 9, like I was, let me point you towards Neil Marshall’s Doomsday (2008). Basically a po-mo riff on Escape From New York and Damnation Alley, it sees special forces killing machine Eden Sinclair (Rhona Mitra) leading a mission into post-pandemic Scotland, which has been walled off and left to its own rather brutal devices since the Reaper Virus went through the population like poop through a goose. Basically a remix of a dozen cool ’70s and ’80s dystopian action movies, it climaxes with a hell of a car chase and the whole “apocalyptic plague” thing makes it timely to boot. Read my full review here and rent it on YouTube here

Answer below if you want some recommendations, and I’ll see what I can do to make your lockdown more enjoyable. Fire away. 

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